Polka Dottin’ Fun
It’s so “spotty” I’m gonna die!!! =p
I originally wanted to do a post on Chocolates but I wasn’t able to get my hands on a few lush goodies. Instead, I decided to get my hands messy and do something a little DIY. I got myself a few colour pads and ended up with these pretty dots on blank sheets. I really liked how the green and purple one turned out, they super remind of Dippin’ Dots! 
These aren’t done yet but I’m really determined to finish them within the week, ’cause they’re going out to a few special peeps. Just a quick entry this week.
’til my next post!
Thank you 2011… I had a blast! :)
Even if this year was one hell of a roller coaster ride filled with both ups and downs, it’s definitely my most awesome year to date. So rather than listing my resolutions for 2012, I decided to write 12 things that made this year a memorable one. Here’s a recap of my 2011 complete with links…
1) I resigned from my first job after over 2 and 1/2 years of happiness and heartaches… =p (More here)
Missing my messy desk
and the happy and talented bunch of HIP-pies
2) I had my first out of town trip with Nico… Ilocos was amazing. =) Scenery shots here
3) I went on a great summer escapade with family and friends (Photos here & here, Blog post here)
4) I finally decided to move to Hong Kong. Here’s a shot of my new room… It’s not as big as my old one but it’s still cozy
5) I got a new Job! Know more about it here
6) I got in touch with old friends…
A snapshot with Steph and Ben after the Phil Education Fair
With Rob, Kate & Jan at the Annual Concert in the Park
7) I also gained new friends…
The Marketing Jungle
8) I got the opportunity to contribute to the First Philippine Education Fair in Hong Kong… My friend Jan wrote about it here
9) Nico & I celebrated our 7th Anniversary… Nic, my love for you grows with each day that passes by. Thank you for being the greatest best friend/ boy friend ever. I love you.
Our Bailey’s cake from Blissful Temptations
10) Turned 24 this year… Read about it here
11) Went home for the holidays and had a few December dates
With Chajantz at Jam’s sweet 16
My HIP visit
Pepper Lunch date with Ness
John & Yoko + Mr. Jones date with Therie
12) Spent Christmas in Baguio with my family and Chai’s family
Family Photo Op with the family
Snapshot with Chai
Triple Treat concert featuring Freestyle, South Boarder, & Side A
at the Baguio Country Club
It was an amazing 2011… and I thank God for the all the blessings, the opportunity to meet new friends, reconnect with old ones, and the time he has given me to spend with those that I love. I say goodbye to this year without regrets and look forward to the new adventure that 2012 will bring.
Happy New Year everyone!
Bittersweet November
Hello everyone!!! It’s been sooooo loooong since my last post. It must’ve been over a month, but I’m finally back! Work is as crazy as it can get, but as I’ve mentioned in my previous posts, it’s not enough reason to skip blogging. So here I am trying to pick up where I left off…
November went by pretty fast, but I can’t end the year without telling you how much of an emotional roller coaster ride that month had been. For starters, it was my birthday month… and even if Nic reminded me daily how special that day was going to be, I knew it would be totally different this year. In all honesty, I didn’t expect it to be bad at all… in fact, like always, I waited till midnight. But when my birthday finally arrived, I felt awfully sad… sad enough to even cry a little. I guess I really missed a lot of things… like waiting with Nic, my Mommy’s birthday spaghetti, celebrating with my girlfriends, and even having Mango Bravo with my old colleagues. I couldn’t believe that even after 6 months I was still feeling a little homesick. But of course God always has a way of making it all better… through the lot of you who took a few minutes of your precious time to send me birthday greetings, sing me songs, send me gifts, and extend my birthday celebration into almost a week. So here’s a little post on just a few things that’ll forever remind me of people who made this birthday year one that I’ll never forget.
1) Owl Necklace from my dear sister Yam
2) Kinder Surprise from my dear seat mate Louis
3) Coin purse turned card holder from Joanne
3) Dinner and Dessert at Small|Medium|Large
with Daddy, Tita Lorie, Tito Ranny & Uncle Neil
4) Special Delivery via FedEx from my one and only love Nic.
5) Lunch treat from Jessica
6) Cute Giraffe card + Cake + Water for Elephants
+ No Sweat Cantonese book from my teammates
7) Urban Decay Naked Palette from Tita Maggie
I also received an H&M office blazer from Mama Angie, Pull & Bear purse from Mama Naning, red Scribble notebook from Che, blue checkered top from Jam, L’Occitane Hand Creams from Tita Lorie, and a Talking Tom birthday song from Mirelle. I just realized I didn’t have a photo of these while typing this post, but your gifts were all AWESOME!!! Thank you Thank you! Of course, we couldn’t end the birthday week without celebrating over a few drinks. So along with Joanne, who also celebrated her birthday that week, we partied that Friday night away.
Twelve years
Twelve years ago my parents told me that I was moving to the Philippines to attend Secondary School. I was in Primary 6 that time and at twelve years old I though my Dad was only joking and didn’t take the news seriously until my flight to Manila was arranged. To tell you frankly, I hated the idea. It’s not because I don’t like the Philippines, in fact, I usually go back to visit my relatives during summer vacation. But the thought of living there was a completely different story. I could speak tagalog because it was the language used at home, but I couldn’t read nor spell properly. I remember crying myself to sleep during the first few months. I missed the bright city lights outside our apartment window. How I could simply go down to buy a snack anytime of the day because 7-11 was just around the corner. Things were simple, fast, and easy.
Twelve years since that turning point, I am now in my twenties and back in Hong Kong. Looking back, I have no regrets. I actually have my parents to thank for sending me home to our beautiful country. It’s not perfect, but I can’t think of any other place in this world that can better educate me about being Pinoy. I have to admit that I did experience some level of culture-shock, but nature had to take its course.
I’ll never forget my first day in school. I came in the middle of the school year and there was a flag ceremony. We were suppose to sing the National Anthem… and not knowing a single line, it struck a chord in my heart. Somehow that made me determined… and with the help of my understanding teachers and great friends, things slowly fell into place. I graduated from high school and was fortunate enough to study in a university that I had never in my dreams thought of going to. My experience in the Philippines helped me reconnect with my roots and form my own dreams and aspirations. I had a lot of memorable experiences but if I were to list them all down, I’d probably end up with a pretty long post.
To make this simple, I wanted to write this entry because of a cause that I, along with a few childhood friends here in Hong Kong, have committed to uphold. We are a group of Filipinos who grew up in Hong Kong but went back to the Philippines to finish our education. At one point in our lives we have questioned our identity as Filipinos, and as my good friend Jan shared, it is sad to hear that today, the Filipino youth in Hong Kong continue to ask themselves the same question. I believe that through education we will be able to gain the knowledge and experience needed to reach our full potential. And in return, use what we have learned to help others reach theirs. With the UPAA-HK and the support of the Philippine Consulate in HK, representatives from 9 schools in the Philippines will be joining us this weekend, giving our Filipino youth here the opportunity to finish their studies and a chance at experiencing our heritage firsthand. Join us this Saturday and get to know more about what it’s like to study in the Philippines. Yes, this as an official invite and I look forward to seeing you this Saturday. ‘Til my next post!
But the drumbeats fade… Backtrack (Part 3)
Finally, the last installment to my short story Backtrack. Enjoy!
***
“Sana nagtanong ka lang kung ‘di mo lang alam. Sana’y nagtanong ka lang kung ‘di mo lang alam… ako’y iyong nasaktan.”
“Pull yourself together Vee! You’ll be late for class!” Trix yelled yanking me out of bed.
“It’s over Trix. They’re together now.” I mumbled into my pillow.
“So what if they’re together. I thought you were over Anton! It’s been a term already.”
“I lied Trix…” I said breaking into tears.
Trix stopped tugging on my pajamas and sat right next to me.
With a shakey and croaky voice I admitted to my faults. “I lied Trix… I can’t get over knowing he’s happy without me. I thought that when I called it quits it wouldn’t be so difficult to deal with it. But now I’m the one who’s unhappy… When I said I didn’t feel that he really loved me, I only wanted us to be like how we were back in high school… I never meant for him to go away… But he’s gone Trix. It’s really over.”
It was too late when I realized that I was the one who couldn’t move on. To think I was the one who ended it. It was pathetic.
“Hindi mo lang alam na kay tagal na panahon, ako’y nandirito pa rin hanggang ngayon para sayo. Lumipas mga araw na ubod ng saya. ‘Di pa rin nagbabago ang aking pagsinta. Kung ako’y nagkasala patawad na sana… Ang puso kong pagal ngayon lang nagmahal.”
I wanted him back. I wanted to take back the foolish things I had said. I kept playing it in my head. The night I decided to let go of what we shared… Couldn’t really say we were a couple because we weren’t officially together… but we were suppose to be getting there. We were just waiting for the right time… Guess time wasn’t really on our side. I wish I had let go of my pride earlier. Maybe a few days … weeks… or months earlier would’ve made much difference… Who knows, we might be together still.
I dunked my head into my books and decided to focus on more important things other than my wretched love life.
Days went by… I found new friends, met new guys, but the happiness I felt just couldn’t compare to how I felt when I was still with that goody-two-shoes son-of-a-gun. My friends said that what I felt was normal; that I’m just going through the stages of grief and denial. That soon I’ll be able to accept what had happened and eventually forgive myself.
“Bumabalik lahat sa tuwing nagkukulitan. Baka sakali lang naman maisip mo naman. Ako’y nandito lang hindi mo lang alam. Matalino ka naman.”
It was during Calculus class, senior year in high school. I had almost flunked another quiz but was luckily saved by a +2 that I had earned from an activity prior. I noticed Anton was not his usual happy self and thought that he was mad at me. So I sent a note his way… and it comes back to me. Written on a folded piece of ¼ pad paper, black ink, in two types of penmanship…
It was the only thing I still held on to. But I know that I will eventually have to say goodbye… soon enough…
“Kung ikaw at ako ay tunay na bigo. Sa laro na ito ay dapat bang sumuko? Sana hindi ka na lang pala aking nakilala. Kung alam ko lang ako’y iyong masaktan ng ganito.”
Anton never missed my gigs… He was my #1 fan. I’d search for his face amongst the crowd and he’d smile his dorky smile to make sure I’d find him. But now, I sing with my eyes closed, unable to look at him while doing a rendition of one of my best songs… his favorite song…
“Sana’y iyong mamalayang hindi mo lang pala alam.”
I told myself I’d be ok. After two terms I said I’d be ready, but tonight I realize that my heart had never stopped singing this song… and as I continue to sing these lyrics, I pray that he hears me through it…
“’Di mo lang alam ako’y iyong nasaktan.”
But the drumbeats fade and the song ends. And the applause drowns out the whispers of my heart.
- THE END -
Backtrack (Part 2)
I can’t believe another week of October is over. Time is insanely quick, and even if I hate lazy Mondays, I’m really looking forward to the coming week. I shall tell you why soon. For now, here’s the 2nd installment to my last post. Just a warning, it’s going to be another wordy post, plus I’d like to apologize in advance to my readers who can’t understand Filipino, I’m afraid I’ve used lyrics from Up Dharma Down (a fave OPM band of mine! ). In a gist, the song is about how a girl’s relationship with the guy that she loved had ended. Even if he’s now with someone else, she continues to think of him and wonders if he feels the same. She continues to sing that to this day the guy doesn’t know how she really feels. Ok, I really have to stop or else I might give away the ending. But even if you feel like you already know how this will end, I do hope you enjoy the way the story unfolds.
***
I arrived at Anton’s place before Trix, and my brain was going haywire on panic mode. “Okay Vee, you better get a hold of yourself. Trix will be here soon. Just breathe. What could possibly go wrong? Right? Everything’s going to be fine.” I told myself.
“Vee!”
“Shoot! Fight or flee? Fight or flee?” I kept asking in my head. I turned to face the person calling out to me.
Happy Birthday was all I could say.
“Uhm, thanks Vee.” and he gave me smile, the kind that still sends warmth gushing through my face up to this very day… even after two terms of not talking to each other.
“How have you been?” he asked.
“Good… good…” before taking a sip of my fruit punch.
“I’m glad to hear that.”
“And you?” I asked, trying to make the conversation last longer (idiotically).
“I’m great Vee. Finally feeling like a normal person. No longer the goody two shoes who’s afraid to fail a couple of quizzes. I guess I’ve finally come to my senses don’t you think?” he joked nudging my elbow.
I tried to give out a laugh as normal as I could possibly deliver.
“By the way, thanks for agreeing to perform… your band I mean…”
“Don’t mention it.”
“Ahem! Mind if I interrupt?”
“Trix!”
“Happy Birthday Anton! Of course we wouldn’t miss your party for the world. Right Vee?” giving me the wink.
“Of course… of course.” Trying to say the words with much conviction. The three of us continued to exchange a couple more lines until Anton asked to be excused as some of his block mates had just arrived.
“Here comes the brain squad.” Trix whispered.
“Shh Trix, don’t be so mean.”
“Ei they’re all Honors Program students… there was no pun intended.” Trix declared.
We met up with the rest of our band mates to prepare for our set. Damn, why did I ever let the group convince me to sing at his party. “Huff!” Well, no point in turning back now. I took a deep breath, the drummer tapped his sticks thrice, and I took my cue.
“’Di mo lang alam… Naiisip kita. Baka sakali lang maisip mo ako…”
As I continue to sing each word with every note that was played
“’Di mo lang alam… Hanggang sa gabi, inaasam makita kang muli.”
“Where did we go wrong Anton?” I asked him with water welling in my eyes.
“Vee… We’ve talked about this… I guess we just fell apart… After you know… when you told me you couldn’t trust how I felt for you, that you weren’t sure if I did love you. I was really hurt when you said those things Vee.” The phrase “did love” banged in my ear like the echo of a gong. I felt sick to my stomach. But this time I took all the pride I had left and threw it at his feet.
“Is it really too late Anton? Can we no longer work things out?”
“Vee… You know I did love you…” There goes that phrase again. “But Sheena’s here for me now… I can’t just turn my back on her.”
My heart bled like there was no tomorrow. I knew perfectly well what he was trying to say, and I had to respect him. I thought I was right, that I had things under control. But I was wrong. I could no longer hold my tears. They came streaming down my face and he heard my acknowledgement of defeat. It was a night I’d never forget.
“Nagtapos ang lahat sa ‘di inaasahang panahon at ngayon ako’y iyong iniwan… luhaang sugatan… ‘di mapakinabangan.”
He stayed with me after breaking into sobs, even tried to make me laugh like he used to. From time to time I’d forget that it was over… but when the time came to finally end the phone call, I just couldn’t… maybe because this time I knew it was really the end. I knew we wouldn’t be friends after this. I was stupid to have let him go… To have hurt him the way I did. Now, he was gone. (to be continued)
