Backtrack (Part 1)

Because today was a holiday, I finally had the time to do some cleaning. I was starting to raise dust bunnies in my room, hence the need to clean. After much sweeping, wiping, and a 20-minute warm shower, I changed into a set of PJs and snuggled into the blankets. I didn’t feel like sleeping yet, so I decided to browse through some movie downloads I had on my laptop and found Before Sunrise… yes, it’s an old film and I’m such a loser for not having watched this earlier because I really loved it… I liked the idea of how two people take chances, go through an adventure and discover more about themselves.  It’s really nice to find someone you can talk to about anything and everything under the sun… or should I say against the backdrop of Europe. Though I fell alseep through the last 30 minutes, I hit rewind and watched the parts I missed this morning. Without contentment, I went on to watch Before Sunset. It was nice to see the characters years after, in a more mature state.  Both trying to be cool about an opportunity missed, but knowing in that deep inside their lives were forever changed after that day they spent together. It’s pretty much a happy ending, but as tackled in the movie, some may say that instances like these are merely “projections”, which brings me to the real content of tonight’s entry… Not everyone who backtracks or comes across an old flame will always be given that 2nd chance.

I sorted through my laptop files and remembered that at some point in my life I really wanted to be a fiction writer… and digging up some of these pieces, I’m somehow reminded of that dream and I’d like to share them with you guys, my devoted readers… though I know there are only a few of you loves… I do appreciate you taking the time to read my posts. 🙂

Going back to the story, I wrote this one for someone really dear to my heart… though I think this person never really got to read my work.

Just a warning, this piece is quite long for an entry so I’ll be posting it in parts.  Plus, it’s pretty raw and I never really got to finish it, so I’m not sure if you’ll consider the end to be “an ending”. But for those who wish to leave comments, you’re welcome to do so, I’d love to read your constructive criticism. 🙂  Ok, I’ll now stop with this long intro…  ’til my next post. 🙂

***

The message was pushed across clear and simple… and I meant that literally. The words weren’t written on some fancy musical card. It was neither etched on the trunk of a hundred year old tree nor engraved on hard stone. The letters were written on a folded piece of ¼ pad paper, black ink, in two types of penmanship.

Puffy-eyed, I mustered up all the strength she had to get out of bed. It must have been past noon already, though she could only tell by the way the sun blinded her through the bedroom window.

I couldn’t even utter a single word as I stared at my stressed out reflection. I knew deep inside that I was a total mess. Maybe it’s just the side effects of college. You know, the ton of homework daily, using up more hours studying for the next day’s tests rather than getting enough snooze, not to mention the fact that you eat a lot. God, “Eating a lot” is even an understatement. You don’t eat a lot, you simply pig-out every chance you get… while studying, when you’re tired like shit, when you’re chillin’ out with friends, and even while sulking over a failed exam. The first two terms of school went by pretty fast.

My cellular phone rings and I stop passing judgment on my face. I rush out of the bathroom excited to see who was calling. “Hey Trix! What’s up?”

“Just checking on ‘ya Vee. Wanted to make sure you weren’t up to doing something crazy.” She said trying to hide her snickering.

“Cut it out Trix! Trust me, I’m fine.” I lied.

“Alright, I’ll see you tonight then. You ready? I sure am excited; it’s been quite some time since we did a gig. It’s nice Anton decided to throw a party to celebrate his birthday.”

I swallowed hard. “Yup, sure is great.” There goes my stomach. “Catch you later Trix! I’ll just grab a bite.” Another lie. I had already lost my appetite a few seconds ago.

“Okay sis. Look great later. Promise you’ll do fine.”

“Thanks Trix.”

“NP love.”

“Seriously Trix, thanks for checking on me.”

“Hey, what are best friends for?”

Trix and I dropped the line, much had to be done before the main event this evening. Not to mention raiding my closet to pull out an outfit. I wasn’t sure whether I should go all out performer or just go simple yet noticeable, besides, it’s not like I’d be the belle of the ball. Nonetheless, I pulled out hangers and hangers of clothing. It took me almost over an hour to finally decide on what I wanted to wear. I chowed down some pizza and Charlie’s chicken pasta my parents ordered for our weekend merienda. Good thing I was able to convince the folks that I was busy over final papers last night and didn’t get scolded for sleeping past lunch on a Saturday. I had to eat; I didn’t want a churning stomach on top of my 100% being sure that there will be butterflies fluttering in my gut. (to be continued)